I often wonder what kind of women my girls will become. And I don’t mean what careers they’ll have. If they stay true to their dreams, Ramiyah will be a personal injury lawyer, Sariah will be a doctor or medical specialist and Ariella will be a successful entrepreneur, much like her mother.
They’ll definitely do well professionally. But I’m more interested in their hearts, in their humanity.
Will they volunteer with disadvantaged youth? Give change to the homeless? Will they possess the wisdom of old to help them make good choices? Will they defend their faith, yet be gentle as a dove to love everyone unconditionally and not mistreat those who don’t share their beliefs, lifestyles or behaviors ? Will they read to their own children, and meet with their children’s teachers?
Will they sign up their kids for academic coaching? (And, of course, they’ll get a discount at Grandma’s Miracle Math Coaching Center, which will have hundreds of worldwide franchises by then!)
I hope the answer is “Yes” to all of the above. Luckily, since I’m their mother I have a huge impact on whether my sweet girls grow up to be good-hearted adults. I just have to be the person I want them to become.
It’s a simple idea, backed by hard evidence.
According to research, when you watch how someone else behaves, it ignites special brain cells called mirror neurons. The neurons light up as if you’re engaging in the behavior yourself. This is the basis of learning by example, according to Alan Kazdin, a Yale University professor of Psychology and Child Psychiatry.
So, if Ramiyah sees me volunteering, donating to the homeless and going to parent/teacher conferences, it’s likely she’ll do the same when she grows up. “Your child will learn how to behave from you,” according to the Kids Section of the website www.prokerala.com.
“…Parents need to set an example. Children learn by imitation. The younger they are, the longer they spend observing you and imitating your behavior.”
Sounds easy enough, but you know how stressful modern day life is. Sometimes, we all exhibit less-than-desirable behavior in from of our young ones: telling a fib when you’re invited to a party you don’t want to go to or getting angry at another driver when you’re cut off in traffic.
Those situations offer another opportunity to shape the kinds of adults your children will become. They can learn to forgive themselves based upon how you react to your own misdeeds. “Shouldn’t have said that,” goes a lot farther than not acknowledging when you could’ve handled a situation better.
With all of this in mind, below are five goals that I will strive for in everyday life. This is how I want 46-year old Ramiyah, 40-year-old Sariah and 38-year-old Ariella to live their own lives. I will always try to:
- Put God first.
- Treat others with respect, open-mindedness and compassion.
- Place the needs of my children and husband above all others.
- Do the very best I can in any endeavor, and always see the areas of improvement in my life as opportunities to grow and develop.
- Have a growth mindset by understanding it’s OK to make mistakes as long as you learn from them and move forward. Progress. not perfection. is the key.
What kinds of adults do you want your children to be?
Is one of your focuses for your child to have a growth mindset and not be satisfied with ignoring the areas that he or she need help in? If your student is struggling or can benefit from growing more in their academics, call me at 707-398-3474, ext. 2700. I can share with you how academic coaching can change your child’s academic future.
Or visit our website www.miraclemathcoaching.com. Miracle Math Coaching is an award-winning, student-focused service with a track record of boosting academic achievement.